Adventures in Online Dating: The Return II

Originally Published March 19, 2012

I told you it was going to be immediate.

 So onto our second contestant this week, a 35-year old divorced mother of one, works in HR for an international automaker, please welcome her to our stage.  She got me really intrigued because despite being Caucasian, she was fluent in Spanish.  It turns out that years ago, she had moved to Mexico for several years and taught English classes down there.  Well, of course she’s going to pick up the language.  Anyway, she had a pretty snarky attitude, just like a certain person you might all be familiar with.  And I was surprised at how well we got along over the phone.  Sure, there were little things here and there during our conversations that gave me pause but everyone’s got their quirks.  I know I do.  And let’s face it, if anyone can put up with me and my smart-ass for more than a few minutes, kudos to you!

 Anyway, Miss HR and I would spend half the time joking around with one another and the other half really talking about our lives and what we’ve been through.  Over the phone at least, I definitely felt a connection that I so infrequently do.  So I was all for meeting her as soon as possible.  We set a coffee date for Sunday, yesterday.  Yes, the morning after St. Patty’s Day.  While she was eager to meet me as well, when we were talking in the wee hours of that morning before we met, she confessed that she was a little…  well, ok, more than a little nervous.  All her worries and fears were starting to come to the surface.  What if I didn’t like what I saw, what if this, what if that…  Really, she was opening up more than before and showing how pretty fragile her ego must have been.  I’ll be honest, I had only seen a couple of pictures of hers up to this point and yes, she had (still has, I suppose) a very pretty face and lovely eyes.  But I figured I was going to be in for something of a surprise since she intentionally didn’t send me any photos of what she looked like from the neck down.  Yeah, I’ve been on those dates in the past.  Surprise!  Whoa…  uh…  how old were those pictures?

 Anyway, I suppose I’m something of a gambler and what have I got to lose?  So I pressed on and didn’t expect anything beyond that really cool girl that I had been getting to know over the phone.

 She was a few minutes late.  Seems despite having chosen the location for us, she wasn’t 100% sure on where it was exactly.  No matter.  Any fears I might have had were immediately gone.  She was just as attractive in person as her photos had been.  And I made sure to let her know.  We spent the next few hours there with each other just talking and even enjoying the silence together.  She eventually had to leave to visit a friend up in Pasadena.  No, I already knew about it ahead of time so it wasn’t an emergency text that made her leave.  But as I walked her to her car, we said we’d definitely be seeing each other and even during breakfast, we made plans to see a show in May together.  I never make plans that far in advance after a 1st date but like I said, it was going pretty well.

 We kissed goodbye and she was on her way, I headed home and within minutes, I went ahead and hid my profile.  Yes, I thought the date went that well that I’d be seeing her often enough that I’m not going to want to meet anyone new after this.  She sent me a few texts from the road and we made tentative plans to see each other again that afternoon as soon as she got back from visiting her friend.  Yes, a second date that very day.  It was all contingent on when she got back but I was looking forward to it.  So much so that when my sister contacted me to let me know that some relatives were going to be attend the Pirates Dinner show in Buena Park yesterday, I passed since I definitely think it would be too soon to introduce anyone to family and I really did want to see her again.  So you can all see where this is heading, right?

 I heard from her around 4 and she said traffic coming back from LA was too heavy, she was going to be too tired to go out later.  But pick any other night this week and we’ll meet up then.  O.k., well, I have plans for Monday, Wednesday and Friday so I asked her if she was free Tuesday or Thursday, we’ll go out then.  She immediately shot back, “I’m only free Monday, Wednesday and Friday…”  wow…  ok…

 Well, if you want to join me, I’m going to a food truck thing on Wednesday with some friends and Friday night I’m going to Sharkeez in Newport with some friends.  Interested in coming?  I figure you’re going to meet them sooner or later, anyway.”

 Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

 “Looks like we’ll have to wait until the weekend, sorry we couldn’t work around your schedule.”

 Uh…  wait, what?  Turns out, she was just warming up.

 “1. When you’re courting a girl, its not around your schedule.  You should ask her first.  2. You don’t invite a girl as an after thought to your plans.  I’m starting to see what you were talking about.”

 Yes, she actually wrote those numbers to emphasize her point.  Mind you, we had just met that morning, had tentative plans for that afternoon and now I was supposed to change my schedule to court her despite already having made plans for those days?  More importantly, we JUST MET that morning and she’s already criticizing me?  Hold on, the next text was the best since I hadn’t even written back at this point.

 “How do you think that makes me feel?  I’m not going to try to fit into your schedule.  I have things to do but I would have changed things to see you.”

 So she’s not going to try to fit into my schedule but would have changed things to see me?  Isn’t that the same as trying to fit into my schedule?  So, just to summarize the past few hours:  Went on an awesome date, made plans for later that day, I hide my online profile, blow off dinner with family to see her, get stood up then told off because I already had plans this week and wanted to see her on my free days.  That about cover it?

 By the time she finally gets home and we talk on the phone, it was just prolonging the inevitable.  She finally cuts to the chase and talks about the elephant in the room.  But at that point, what’s the use?  She admits that she has problems (really?) and isn’t used to dating.  She has high demands of what she expects from someone and couldn’t expect to change me.  We say our good bye and that was it.  I’d like to remind everyone that we had just met that morning.

 As a side note, of course I re-activate my profile last night.  I didn’t see hers when I do.

 And just when I didn't think it would get any more absurd...  She JUST sent me a text:"Can't you just apologize already.  You're so stubborn."

 Wow...  really?  REALLY?