Thursday, April 8, 2021

Adventures in Online Dating: The Return II - Chapter 2

 Originally Published March 24, 2012

Oh, you'd think this would have been over and done with after Sunday but no, it just keeps going on...  I swear, we only met ONCE for a couple hours.  Yes, it was a good date but, good lord, it wasn't good enough to keep harassing me nearly a week later...  sigh.

 So, you got the update from Monday when she sent me a text

 March 19, 10:09 am
 "Can't you just apologize already.  You're so stubborn."

 I ignored it.  After all, according to her, we weren't going to be able to make it work just the night before.  But then I get this one later that day.

 March 19, 3:28 pm
"Talked to a coworker about what happened and she said I was wrong so I'm going to make the grand gesture and if I don't hear from you I won't contact you again.  So here it goes:  Things usually come easily to me and I'm not used to being called out on my shit.  I really like you and although I can't handle rejection very well, I'm sorry and I hope that we can see each other again."

 She needed to talk to a co-worker to be told that she was wrong for reacting the way she did.  So she didn't even come to that realization herself, she needed someone else to tell her.  That just stunned me.  Couldn't even accept personal responsibility, she had to be told she was wrong.  So what does she do next?  She makes the "grand gesture" and backs into an apology.  In fact, if you really look at it, she's not apologizing for how behaved.  She's apologizing for not being able to handle rejection well.  I was beside myself.  I had a long discussion with an old friend about this and he played devil's advocate...  or in this case, crazy's advocate.  We went back and forth while I stood my ground and said it was over Sunday when she said it wasn't going to work out.  All that's come since is the crazy for me not behaving how she expected/hoped.  Not my problem if your high school games don't work with me.

 But wait, there's more...  oh, there's still so much more.

 Remember, the time stamp above.  Because I get this one a little later.

March 19, 4:22 pm
Just one more thing (I know it's getting even more stalkerish..if that's possible). I hope your tattoo session goes well and it helps the healing.  My dad passed away a few years ago so I know how you feel.  Ciao.

Well, I guess that last part was nice of her.  Not nice enough to offset everything that happened in the 24 hours before it though.  But that was Monday and I figured, that should be the last I hear from her...  yeah...

March 22, 6:50 pm
Are you ever going to forgive me?  :(

 Oh dear lord, are you @#%!#$^!# KIDDING ME!!! Mind you, I have not said a single word to her since we spoke on the phone on Sunday, the 18th. Anyway, since then, I reactivated my profile and started talking to a few other ladies, hoping, praying they aren't crazy either.  Until I get this message in my inbox on the site...

 M****a
3/24/2012 7:27:21 PM
I know i was a brat and i apologized and even looked at your *are you crazy comment for 3 days. is it honestly something that cant be worked out? I feel like we didnt even get an opportunity to get to know each other. Quite honestly i miss talking to you. Just be straight with me k

I haven't responded.  Someone seriously needs counseling.  But that wasn't the end of it...  no, it never is...

 M*****a
3/24/2012 7:29:25 PM
I was used to telling my boyfriend to get lost and he would come running after me. Even if you and i never talk again. I thank you for the lesson.

What happened to the whole thing about never contacting me again on Monday?  It's been nearly a week and I haven't spoken a single word to her.  But after this most recent, I finally just had to tell her to leave me the fuck alone.  But I'd like to think I was nicer about it than just saying that, so I finally wrote back:

KingLouie_714
3/24/2012 8:09:36 PM
"Are you crazy..." was another movie quote. It just seemed rather appropriate considering.

"Where to begin... Sunday's blowup at me seriously took me by surprise. Considering how well our date went Sunday morning and I was already looking forward to spending Sunday evening with you. I was so pumped up and on a high from how well things went, the fact that you went off on me over essentially nothing, I just couldn't fathom that. Moreover, and this may only be beating a dead horse but, I not only blew off dinner with my family because I was looking forward to spending more time with you that as soon as I got home from our date, while we were texting our plans for later, I came on here and hid my profile. Deleted emails from every girl I had been talking to and clearing out my "Favorites." I was that enthused after our date.

"So again, blowing up at me later because I wanted to include you in my pre-existing plans. Not just include you but introduce you to my friends. So when you pretty much said, "this isn't going to work out," at the end of our conversation, I figured that was it then. I don't play those little high school games. I don't say anything like that unless I genuinely believe it. Regardless of how you and your boyfriend may have enjoyed playing that game, that's not me and not how I do anything.

"So the shock I got the next morning asking me if I was going to apologize? My first thought was, For what? I didn't do anything wrong. My next thought was, what the hell for if this wasn't going to work out anyway? Then you follow that up several hours later with your 'apology.' I literally scoffed when I read what you wrote. I had to re-read it a few times, even outloud, just to make sure I wasn't missing something. The fact that you needed a friend to tell you that you were in the wrong. You didn't come to this conclusion on your own but your friend had to tell you that. And then you had to make a "grand gesture." Really? Even something as simple as an apology, a genuine, sincere apology needed to be a "grand gesture?"

"I'm really trying to temper my response now so I'm only going to say Goodbye, M*****a.  I will not be contacting you again and I would very much appreciate it if you were to do the same with me.

I really hope I don't hear from her again after this but, at this rate, I wouldn't put money on it.

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