March 2011
Maybe I should just stay the bad guy. Seems as though being forgiving means that allows me to be further attacked for something I might have said or done. An off-hand remark or comment gets over-analyzed, scrutinized and then thrown back at me months after the fact. Just because the person I “offended” has their own personal demons to contend with.
I rarely talk so openly about a bad relationship or the underlying causes as to what happened. Sure, I’ll mention a bad date as a lark in a post or a blog. And I’ll share with my closest friends certain instances where my former flame seemed to have run off the rails. But for the most part, few of you know just how bad some of my relationships have been in the past year.
Sure enough, my most recent relationship ended on a sour note. But recently, after being sent birthday greetings by my ex, I decided, I would at least open the door to an exchange between us. After all, despite her being the one who broke up with me, there were truly no hard feelings on my part. She had her own issues that arose during the course of our relationship and as it went on, I knew we weren’t meant to be. So the night she decided to break up with me, I didn’t argue it, didn’t fight it, didn’t beg her to reconsider. I just let it end.
So again, after my spectacular birthday weekend, she called and left me a voicemail wishing me well and, like I said, I felt compelled to offer an olive branch. No hard feelings. Unfortunately, she seemed to have taken that as a sign that all was right with us again and wanted to go back to being friends. Whoa, slow down there girl. But no, she asked to come over on Monday night (what am I doing, what am I doing…) and spent the next few hours here discussing her life and mine and of course, going over what went wrong with us. She admitted that she had never been ready for a relationship (SHOCKER!) and it wasn’t fair to me that, in the back of her mind, she kept wondering about another friend of hers and what it might have been like to date him… No, wait, it gets better. She actually approached him shortly after she and I broke up and asked him if there was any interest. He rejected her.
She then went on to complain that there was one girl in my group of friends that she felt was too friendly/relaxed with me and she was tempted to confront her about it. In effect, ask her why she was making googly eyes at her boyfriend. Remember, my ex wanted to be with someone else. So, she didn’t confront her about it at the time but she was so sure that after she and I broke up, that friend and I would have immediately started seeing one another. We didn’t.
Moving forward to last night. I was home alone with nothing to do but about to call up a friend to catch up when my phone rings and it’s the ex again. Clearly upset because she had just had another problem with a “friend” of hers that wasn’t as good a friend as she wanted her to be. I suppose it’s my fault for answering the phone but eventually, after she vents about her lack of quality friends, she continues back to our reason for breaking up. She’s a touch OCD so she enjoys going over the same subject ad nauseam. This time, during the conversation, I flippantly mention that before she and I started dating, I was interested in another girl at the time. It’s true; I’m interested in girls all the time. Whether or not anything happens is a different matter. But she zeroed in on that point and somehow my interest in someone else before I met her turned into, “Oh, so you only dated me because I was accessible?” Wait, what?! Isn’t it interesting how someone might have taken that comment as me dropping my other interest for them as a compliment? Whereas, the ex, decided to take it to an entirely different perspective and assume she was runner-up for my affections? Remember, she was interested in ANOTHER guy the ENTIRE time we were dating and broke up with me to try to get together with him.
I genuinely wasn’t upset when we broke up last October. More relived that it was over and done with. But here I was at the start of a new year and I thought, well, I can be civil about it and at least talk with her. Let her know there weren’t any hard feelings on my part. Turns out, she’s still just as crazy as ever. And her number goes right back to being blocked on my phone. So much for trying to be a nice guy.
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