Oh don't get me wrong we hung out often, her crashing at my place, me crashing at hers but even in those moments when we're just sitting around watching movies I realized that while the movie was on and I was intent and watching it, she often would just be sitting there playing on her phone whatever game or app or having conversations with multiple other people rather than actually being involved and being in the moment enjoying the movie together.
A handful of times, I was going through some pretty serious stuff and needed someone to talk to. First few times I tried to open up to her just to get things off my chest, she clearly wasn't paying attention. Bordering on ignoring anything I was saying. Quickly learned never to bother her with anything serious in my life.
Oh God, one time we were out and actually, let me correct myself, a few times we were out and about doing things and again her nose buried in her cell phone and multiple times she ended up calling me by some other dude's name. Multiple times. Which obviously meant she wasn't paying attention to me, she was paying attention to the dude she was texting rather than being involved with whatever we were doing at the time.
This girl reminded me a lot of the fox who lost his tail fable that we all grew up hearing/reading. Not that she was disfigured by any means and wanted people to cut themselves to replicate that. No I don't mean that at all. I'm speaking more along the lines of if she felt that she discovered some movie or TV series she became obsessed with it. Like beyond what is normal into a really dangerously unhealthy obsession over it, and she had a LOT of unhealthy obsessions going on. To the point where she demanded, she never asked, she demanded that you watched the movie or series so you could be on equal footing with her. There were multiple TV shows where she dumped her entire series collection on to me so I could watch and catch up to her. There were comic books that she dumped in my lap that she demanded I read to catch up and fall in love with the characters that she had fallen in love with when she was a child.
But for as much as she insisted that you enjoy all the same things that she did, she never once reciprocated that. It took me at least 5 years before she finally watched one of my favorite movies. She was asleep 20 minutes in. Again no respect for anything that I wanted to do or enjoyed but whatever she wanted that's what we had to do.
But the disrespect and contempt she had continued for any time we were out and about. There was one time I distinctly remember we were at an event and walking through the crowd and I felt a tug on my shirt so I looked over to see what she wanted and she was using my t-shirt to clean her glasses. She never asked. She just decided she was going to use my T-shirt as a rag to clean her glasses. That's the kind of "friendship" we had.
Nothing but take, take, take.
And full disclosure, at one time, early on, I thought about getting involved with her as more than friends. Fortunately that never happened. She was too unbalanced, unhinged, disconnected from reality. She would often use movie quotes at inappropriate times because I'm sure she thought it was an original thought of her own.
Oh my God, and she surrounded herself with people she felt superior to. That was for her own ego because she was so insecure. There was a time she told me how happy she was a mutual friend was a horrible karaoke singer. Because this other girl was younger, prettier and had a really fun disposition. She was happy she wasn't that good of a singer because she felt that was at least something she had over the other girl. Her literal words. Why did I put up with her for so long? Boredom mostly. There wasn't anyone else calling me asking to hang out. She did. And most of her venomous personality flaws weren't directed at me. I learned to take it with a grain of salt once I knew exactly where I stood with her.
OMG, she was so two-faced with seemingly everyone! The number of times I've heard her bad mouthing, openly talking shit about the girlfriend of a dude she desperately wants to hook up with. He's obviously never made the move, not even when he was single so you know he's not interested. But she's still holding a torch for him. And his current girlfriend gets all kinds of HATE and venom spewed in her direction. At least, behind her back. To her face, she's all smiles and, oh, I'd love to come to your place for a pool party. Thank you, you're such a great pal. The hypocrisy just kills me, that people can be like that.
I should also add another thing that I noticed she started doing for the last year we were even friends. Any time I started to talk about other women showing an interest in me, she had this look of suspicion, doubt. Like as if I were making it all up. Literally it was never any support or even genuine interest but skepticism that other women, ANY woman would be interested in getting involved with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment